My point, Exactly
by Annabeth The Unicorn
Summary: The musical "13" from the point of view of Archie.
1. The New Kid in Appleton

A/N: I noticed a definite lack of 13 fic on this site, so I decided to post some of my own. This idea + my love of Archie = this story! All of 13 from the point of view of the dying comic relief! I did read the book, so I am going to try to incorporate some scenes from the book, but no promises. Here is the first chapter!

I was never popular. No idea why. Sometimes I will do anything for human contact of any kind. Lets face it, when your mom is constantly swamped with hospital bills she can't pay; she doesn't have much time for you anymore. Even before, when I could walk, everyone avoided me like the plague, everyone except for Patrice. Patrice was a good friend, but I certainly did not think of her in a romantic way. She was a bit sensitive, but I was always there to pick her back up mentally whenever her heart was broken. In return, she would always be there to pick me up physically when I slipped.

I noticed one day, as she lost to me at "Halo 3" for the ninth time, that Patrice was unusually happy.

"So, what's up?" I asked.

"Whatever do you mean?" She replied in a voice two octaves too high.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You have been smiling like crazy for the past two hours, even when you completely flop! You aren't even trying!"

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you!" she said, happily tossing her controller over her head, and turning to face me on the couch. "I met a boy, we've been studying together for a few days now, and we even watched some old movies together! I think he might be…" She squeaked. "_The one!" _

I looked at her blankly, as she squeaked again and jumped up and down on the couch.

"Patrice?" I said, grabbing my controller and turning back to the screen.

"What?" She said, excitement still present in her voice.

"You seriously need to get some girl friends." She rolled her eyes. "What's this guys name anyway?"

"His name is Evan!" She said, dreamily, "Evan Goldman." My turn to roll eyes.

"Goldman, is he Jewish?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's a Jewish last name." she looked at me funny.

"Are you making a joke? A last name can't be Jewish!"

"Yeah it can, Goldman, Cohen, Levi, all Jewish surnames."

"That is not true, no way!"

"Whatever."

"Anyway, he's so sweet! He even gave me this!" She took a necklace out from under her blouse, and showed it to me. It said "Friendship" in beads that went across the front. "He's having his Bar mitzvah, which is the Jewish coming-of-age, and I've been helping him with invitations!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great, Patrice. Help me get past level nineteen!"

She sighed, muttering about how she really should get some girl-friends, and went to fetch her controller.

"Alright class, I will be coming by to collect your assignment. If you recall, you were supposed to keep a journal of everything you did over your week off." Mr. Frank's drawling voice said to the room full of juvenile delinquents.

The teacher snaked his way through the desks. I was on the far side of the room from him, so I had a moment with my thoughts. I watched as he took a journal from Kendra. Oh Kendra! She is in love with me; she just doesn't know it yet. I have been crushing on her for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, she never seems to notice that I… exist. Her journal was decorated with sparkly stickers and rainbow colored sketches. The base color was a shockingly bright hot pink.

The teacher approached Brett's desk.

"Sorry, pops, but I had a big game over break, and everything else was training, I didn't have time to finish that stupid assignment!" He said, leaning back, with his feet on his desk.

"Very well, I will just have to mark you as excused, we wouldn't want our star athlete falling behind and not qualifying for the team, now would we?" The teacher said with a grin. Brett smiled. He sickens me.

Finally, the teacher came to my desk.

"Did you complete the assignment?"

"No, sir." I said.

"Do you have an excuse?"

"No, sir."

"Then why?" He said. "It's not like you to just forget assignments." I looked away, not meeting his gaze, knowing every eye in the room was on me.

"I spent most of my break in the hospital. Those boring days weren't worth writing about." I replied.

"Okay." He said simply, returning to the front of the class. I snuck a peek at the class. Sur enough everyone was looking my way. Everyone except… Kendra. She was looking in a make-up mirror, applying eye shadow. Damn.

"This semester we will be learning about the fine details of grammar. There's the semi-colon, the quotation marks…" I tuned him out.

"Oh-em-GEE! That is Hilarious! Pure gold!" I could never stand Lucy's squeal of a voice, but today it was soaked with a little extra venom. I tried to just crutch past them, but a familiar voice caught my ear. That was Patrice, and she was crying. I looked over Lucy's shoulder and saw she was watching a video on her phone. "That is so going on YouTube!"

The video was of a boy ripping an invitation meant for Patrice. I didn't really need to guess who he was._ Some 'One', Patrice_ I thought.

The bell rang to show the end of school, and the hallway cleared. I was usually the last person off campus, but today, I saw someone else who was taking their sweet time. I recognized him from the video. He looked like he was looking for someone.

"Oh, hi! You're the new kid, right?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah, Hi, I'm Evan."

"I'm Archie. I pass by your house every morning while you're waiting for the bus. See, I'm on the special needs bus, Cuz' of my crutches." I said 'Crutches' like I was saying 'Poison'.

"Well, it was great meeting you, Archie!" He said trying to slip away unnoticed. He failed.

"Are you looking for Patrice?"

"You know Patrice?"

"Sure! She's like my best friend! And… my only friend."

"Do you know where she is?" The nerve of some people! He breaks her heart, and then thinks its no big deal, and that they can go back to being friends? Jack-ass.

"Why, so you can do something _else_ to publicly humiliate her and ruin her life?" I said angrily.

"OH, you heard about that, huh?"

"Yeah, it's already on YouTube, but I think I can help."

"Really? That'd be amazing! I'd totally owe you!" Something dawned on me then. Maybe it was the look in his eye, that need to act, to do something. It reminded me of how I sometimes felt about Kendra. Kendra? Kendra! That's it! I then knew how I could get Kendra to notice me!

"And then you could do something for me? A deal of sorts."

"Wait a second, what kind of deal?"

"A small deal; a no-big-deal deal, I need a date!"

"Alright," He said wearily, still not sure, "Is there anyone specific-," I didn't let him finish.

"Kendra!"

"Kendra? Are you on crack?" I looked away, a dreamy look in my eyes.

"She so wants me."

"No way, dude, no way."

"Fine, then I'll just sit next to her at your Bar Mitzvah; rub my leg up against hers!" Something dawned on me. "Hope I feel it… And before long, I'll be attending to her special needs." I said with finality.

"Okay, first of all, yuck! Secondly, I don't remember inviting you to my Bar Mitzvah!" Hm… this was a slight plan flaw, but I just ran with it. I seemed to be on a roll.

"Do I really need an invitation? You think your mom would throw Tiny Tim out on the streets? And so close to Christmas!"

"Archie, I really gotta go find Patrice." He started to walk away. I really didn't want to have to play this card, but the guy left me no choice.

"I understand, even though it's a sick boy's dying wish, I don't want you to feel any pressure." He turned around so fast, I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash. Works every time.

"Look, I feel really bad, but I can't get you a date with Kendra! I do one stupid thing, and suddenly I'm exiled to the looser table for the rest of my life! I'm on major probation here!"

"There's exactly one person in this whole town who can help me, and that person is you!" he turned away. "Ever since I came here, I've been treated as an outcast! Only because I'm different. Patrice too. Everyone always either avoids me or ignores me, and I hate it!" He looked at me sadly, he was caught between something he wanted, and the right thing to do. "I just want to have a shot with Kendra before… Well, you know, what happens at the end of a terminal illness." He was obviously just eating out of my hand. "Help me, Evan, Please!"

"I'll try!" He said, finally. I smiled and turned away.

"I knew you would!" And that, I did.

A/N: Yay, it's done! I'm going to sleep now!


	2. You're in a Library Shut up!

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I was spending every waking moment I had preparing for my school's production of 13. It closed April 2nd, sadness. Anyways, I had the part of… guess. That's right! Archie! At first I wanted Patrice, but I actually found I liked Archie a lot better. (Even if arm braces are near-impossible to walk with, believe me, I know) He really is everything I want to be. Oh, and just so you know, I am a girl, but we were short on Boy's (thank god) so I got to be a lead. After seeing the whole show from his eyes, I wanted to post this. I also had a request for a bit of Charlotte, so I'll see what I can do… Enjoy, all you 13 fans!

Disclaimer: If I owned 13, there would be a sequel.

* * *

After I had that talk with Evan, I set out to find Patrice. Something was bugging me, when he asked me about Patrice, the urgency in his voice was… strange. Almost like he cared about her… like REALLY cared about her. Whatever, not my business, I just needed to talk to Patrice. I didn't expect it to be very easy to convince her that he was sorry, but I just kept reminding myself of something…

_It's all for Kendra!_

I had started to call Evans many insane, crazy, impossible, outrageous plans "Project: Get-The-Girl", and even if he had yet to have success, I had faith in "The Brain" (Although, I don't care what he said, no one alive is going to 'Hail' him for getting them into a movie) So I kept putting One foot (crutch) in front of the other.

_God, where could she be?_ I thought. _Okay, if I were a depressed Teenage girl where would I be? Star Trek convention. …Uh, that was no help at all._

It was then that I came across the library. Of course! She'll be in there writing profanity about the new kid in her Diary. I pushed open the door with a shoulder. Patrice was sitting on one of the steps that lead to the second level of the Library, scribbling viciously in her notebook. Wow, Do I know Patrice, or do I know Patrice?

"Patrice!" I yelled… maybe a bit too loudly. The Librarian shushed me harshly, and I jumped, but moved towards my friend. She closed her book and stuffed it in her shoulder bag, standing to leave. "Wait…" I said, in a whisper this time. I knew that if it came down to a race, she'd win hands-down.

"I don't want to talk now, Archie." She said, but she sat down, and I knew this was Girl-talk for "I need to rant to someone."

"It's about Evan." I retaliated.

"Especially about Evan!" She nearly screeched. The following chorus of "Shhh" coming from the librarian and surrounding teachers seemed to go on forever. Patrice blushed.

"What he did… he really didn't mean it." I whispered. She pulled out her notebook and started stabbing some poor page with her pen.

"Right, sure, yeah, Ripping up my invite in front of everyone who hates me is sooo not what he meant." She whispered sarcastically. I sat down beside her and pulled the pen out of her hand so the paper wouldn't have to endure any more torment.

"Come on, you know you really like him!" I said.

"What makes you think that?" Again with the screeching! The librarian didn't even bother this time, just shot us a nasty glare.

"Well," I flipped the pages of her diary back to a few days before where those exact word were written with hearts surrounding them. "Because you said, 'I really like him'" I pointed them out, as if they weren't already obvious. "But maybe I read that one wrong. And keep it down or we'll get kicked out of here!" she put her diary back into her bag and crossed her arms.

"Why are you sticking up for him?" She was really mad, but I could tell she was listening.

"He's a nice guy, for one." She looked at the floor. "Look, he's new, and he made a mistake, but… I think we're gonna be friends."

"Good luck with that." Wow, she was really mad. I guess the more you care about a person, the more it hurts to lose them. So, that means if she's this mad, she must really care about him. Wait, Patrice cares about Evan, and Evan cares about Patrice, and… neither of them are any the wiser! Okay, now this is my business.

"Just give him another chance?" I said.

"Another chance? No, sorry. I've given another chance to every jerk in this town! Friend please…" Oh, great here comes another one of her friend rants. "A friend is someone who's always there for you, someone who cares about you! Not someone who will turn on you in a moment for _popularity_!" she said 'popularity like it was some sort of disease, or an insect of the gross and ugly kind. "A friend is someone who will pass notes to you and not care about your terrible spelling. Someone who keeps your secrets and… and…"

She looked close to tears. This was going to be harder that I thought. I gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder. She looked up at me, and wrapped her arms around my neck. I felt tears land on my shoulder. God, what do I do? What do I do? She squeezed my neck harder.

"Choking… Not breathing… Patrice, seriously?" She let go of me and laughed through her tears. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and smiled.

"Sorry, it's just… I thought he'd be different."

"Well, he hasn't necessarily gone to the dark side for good." I smiled.

"Really, a 'Star Wars' reference?"

"My point is," I said, blushing about the unintentional quote of one of my obsessions. "You've got him all wrong, Patrice, you'll see." I grabbed my crutches and went to my next class.

Because, now I had a plan of my own.

"Project: Get-Patrice-and-Evan-to-admit-they-are-in-love-with-each-other"!

Hm… I gotta think of a better name…

* * *

A/N: So, that's all for now, you guys! Hope you liked the chapter! Please review!


	3. The Brain and his Terrible Plan

A/N: Here I am again! And I bring with me another chapter! Man, I love this story! Oh, btw, I finally got the DVD of my school's production of 13, so if I end up putting it on YouTube, I will most certainly be giving you guys the link!

Disclaimer: If I owned 13, Archie would make a miraculous recovery!

* * *

I was sitting on my porch, minding my own business, when I finally got the latest scoop on "Project: Get-The-Girl", and I had an idea for "Project: Evan-&-Patrice-Smoochie-Smooch-Smooch" (still working on that title).

"Archie, I have major news!" I looked up from my collector's edition of one of the original Spider-Man comics. It was Evan.

"They're making a musical out of Battle-Star Galactica?" I asked.

"What? No-,"

"'Lord of the Rings' is finally coming out on blue-ray?" I asked excitedly.

"No, but-,"

"You are moving back to New York, and taking Patrice and I with you!" I closed

"No."

"You-,"

"Stop guessing!" I shut my mouth. "Now, listen, I have a plan so you and Kendra can go out on Friday night!" Pretty sure I started freaking out. "But, I need you're help!"

"My help? Why do you need my help? You're the brain!"

"Yes, but you see, I need you to convince my mom to buy the tickets." I gave him a scrutinizing look. This wasn't the first time someone's tried to use me, but this was _Kendra_ so…

"Tickets for what exactly?"

"For…" He paused for dramatic effect. "'The Bloodmatser', Friday night, at the mall! All the cool kids are coming! The only problem is…" I motioned for him to continue. "They want me to buy the Tickets. So I thought this was a good way to get them! This way, Brett gets his movie, I get the credit, and you get your date!"

"And why exactly-,"

"Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. There is no way that I alone will be able to get my mom to buy tickets to an R rated movie… but…" I rolled my eyes, from the moment I met this guy, I knew it would come to this. "No one could possibly say 'No' to a boy with a Terminal Illness!"

I glared at him. "I hate you so much right now." I said.

"Uh…"

"Besides, isn't Brett going with Kendra?"

"That's just it, He thinks he's going with Kendra, but he'll be so preoccupied trying not to puke, that he'll forget he's even on a date! Leaving her for you!"

"This sounds like a terrible plan. Worse than all your others."

"Come on! Do it for Kendra!" I thought for a moment.

"Okay, I'll get you the tickets, but I have a condition!" Evan looked scared, probably remembering the last time we made a deal… He was right to be scared.

"And what would that be?" He said slowly.

"You need to invite Patrice!" I said with finality. It was perfect! Evan will apologize, Patrice will forgive him, and they'll be at a scary movie! They'll finally realize how much they love eachother!

"Okay, sure, fine!" He seemed to have brightened up considerably. "Now come on! I'll show you my house and you can get those tickets!"

* * *

"Where did you learn to DO that?" Evan was in shock as I handed him the Fandango tickets. His eyes were as wide as saucers, and his mouth dropped to the floor.

"When you've been dying for as long as I have, you pick up a few tricks." I smiled at him.

A lot of people just pity me and never really try to be my friend. They're nice enough, but I never really had any friend except Patrice. And when I'm with her, we usually scoot around the whole 'Fatal Disease' issue.

It took a real friend to say "Dude. You're dying. That sucks. Let's go to a movie."

"Well," He looked at the paper in his hand, lost for words. "Wow."

I smiled. It was time for me to prove that all Kendra needed was someone like me!

* * *

A/N: yes, yes, short chapter, I know. Don't shoot! Anyways, I thought that was a good ending, and a short chapter is better than no chapter, right? RIGHT? Review and I will love you.


	4. It All Goes To Hell

A/N: I would write a long speech about how sorry I am that I haven't updated in five million years, but I know that when I'm following a story that has a break I hate reading those and eventually I'm just like… "Get to the story!" So, yeah, here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: 13 is property of JRB!

* * *

_You know when you get that sick-to-your-stomach nervous feeling? Like, even if you've memorized your lines a thousand times over, and can read then forwards, backwards, and every way in between, but you still feel like you're going to throw up right before your first entrance._

_Well, That's how I feel right now._

I looked into the mirror in front of me. Why did this have to be so hard? She was RIGHT THERE! In the theater waiting for me! Me! Well, not exactly. But still.

_Alright, Archie._ I thought, _Stop stalling and go sit with her._

With a deep breath, I exited the bathroom and moved towards the door with the light-up sign that read "The Bloodmaster."

I froze right in front of the door, hand poised just above the handle. Shit.

_Okay, Okay,_ I thought, WWCKD? What would Captain Kirk do?

_He would swoop in there, kill all the Cylons, and carry the girl to safety!_ I looked down at my Crutches. _Um… No carrying… But maybe we could walk home together?_

I opened the Door. _Yeah, maybe we could walk home together._

I saw Evan holding my seat and Brett sitting on Kendra's other side. Patrice was sitting alone behind Evan. At the end of the Theater aisle, much to my dismay, I paused again.

That's when I heard Patrice say, "Evan, I thought you were going to sit with me."

That was all it took. If I was going to get those two together, the plan involved them sitting together at this movie! I had to go and sit down next to the girl of my dreams. Not just for myself, but for the sake of Evan and Patrice, the lovers-to-be.

And it all went to hell from there.

I took my seat, after Evan moved, and looked at Kendra. I opened my mouth to say something, but I felt like my throat was swollen to the size of an orange. I cleared it and continued.

"Hey Kendra, sorry I'm late, I was in the bathroom having a seizure."

"What?"

A particularly gory body came on screen, and she screamed, curling further into the seat.

But I wasn't looking at the screen. I was looking at Kendra. God, she was so beautiful. What I really wanted to do was… Kiss her. Just on the cheek. _Do it!_ The Captain Kirk in me screamed.

So… I did.

Or I tried.

I closed my eyes and went for it.

But my lips didn't meet cheek. Nope, they met lips, which should have told me something was up, but then I thought… She saw me and is kissing back. But then I realized that these… weren't Kendra's Lips. Shit.

I opened my eyes and Jerked back.

"BRETT?"

He looked at me, and then screamed.

The rest of my time spent in that room was so embarrassing, that it was spent in fuzziness. Then I looked at Evan. He was _Laughing_. Right along with the rest of the guys (Minus Brett).

"Ew, Cripple, did you just try to Kiss Kendra?"

"We're on a date." I said softly.

"What?"

"I said, we're on a date, Kendra and I are on a date!"

"We are?" she asked.

"You WHAT?"

"Evan set it up." I said, glaring at him.

Brett went into a rage. He started screaming, and he tried to get at Evan, but Kendra stopped him. He told her to get off, but she didn't, and she… Here's the good bit. She kicked him right in the peewees!

Patrice led me off, out of the theater, with Evan following behind, probably for safety.

She and I sat on a bench outside the theater, and Evan stood in front of us, steaming.

"Great, now they'll never be my friends!" he lamented.

"Them? That's who you care about? Them?" Patrice was fuming now.

"Why do you care?"

"You invited me here, and you didn't even talk to me! I put on this stupid dress, and this stupid make-up, and you didn't even look at me! You know what, Evan Goldman? You made your choice. Obviously I'm not good enough for you! But for once, those idiots in there agree on something. Because you weren't good enough for them and you're not good enough for me!" And she stormed away.

"Rejected." I said. "Well, that could have gone better."

"This…" He said, "This is all your fault. I told you everything NOT to do and you did it! ALL OF IT!"

"Hey, this didn't exactly work out for me, either. _That_ was my first kiss." We shuddered in unison.

"Everything in my life is a disaster!"

"You've been in Appleton for a month." I deadpanned, "Trust me, It'll get so much worse."

"No, no, I'm gonna fix this with Brett, and I'm gonna fix this with Patrice. And you're gonna help me!" He ran his hands through his hair. "I just need a plan."

"Face it, Evan, This can't be fixed."

"If I don't do anything, I'm dead! **They're going to treat me like I have some kind of a disease!"**

Bam.

This guy, who I'd trusted… Well, he might as well have shot me in the back. I looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time, and I decided… I didn't want him to be my friend. He realized what he said.

"Archie…" His face fell when he saw my frown. "I- I didn't mean it, I-"

"Save it." I started walking away, but I stopped to throw back, "Right now I think I'm doing a whole lot better than you are."

I didn't need him. I had Patrice. And even if I didn't have her, I didn't need him. I was totally okay with being alone. I've been alone all my life.

Being a geek is the loneliest thing in the world.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the angsty ending!


	5. CQDBTIOE!

A/N: Note to those of you who have seen 13: have you guys noticed how one scene- Evan insults Archie, Archie walks away- Evan sings a song- and then suddenly they're all hunky-dory, and Archie is telling Evan not to face Brett? Well, I have. So, here's what I think happened! I love bromance so much, it's almost creepy.

* * *

I've never actually been angry at any of my friends Friend (Patrice). Just because she is so darn nice. I mean, she gets annoying sometimes, when she goes on and on about girl stuff and… well, you get the picture. But, we've never actually had a fight. Which is why I was so inexperienced at being mad at a friend.

Hm… I'm sure there's something about this in Star Trek… no? Doctor Who? …no. Battlestar Galactica? …not even close. Unless Evan's a Cylon… which I doubt.

Maybe I should call him and apologize for over-reacting. Wait, what? No! I didn't do anything! It was the _Brain_'s stupid mouth in the first place! His words echoed around in my head.

"This is all your fault. I told you everything NOT to do and you did it! ALL OF IT! Everything in my life is a disaster. No, no, I'm gonna fix this with Brett, and I'm gonna fix this with Patrice. And you're gonna help me! I just need a plan. If I don't do anything, I'm dead! They're going to treat me like I have some kind of a disease!"

As hard as I tried, I couldn't forget them, not a single word. Eventually, they just became a never-ending mantra of meaningless syllables. Yeah, syllables. Syllables are nice. Syllables don't hurt!

They-are-go-ing-to-treat-me-like-I-have-some-kind-of-dis-ease

ðɛr goɪŋ tu trit mi lajk aj hæv səm kajnd əv ə dɪziz

IMP was good too.

"Archie!" A voice dragged me out of my syllabic musings.

"What, mom?"

"One of your friends is here to see you!"

She said the word "Friends" like it was the word "Guardian Angel!" It was almost as embarrassing as the time she asked some rude teenagers to move out of the handicapped seats in the movie theater.

"…Okay?"

"Aren't you going to come down to meet them?"

I groaned. "I'm a cripple, can't they come up here?"

"Archie, we've talked about the C-word!"

I heard her say something indecisive to my "Friend" And then…

"That's okay Ms. Walker."

I almost opened my mouth and yelled "EVAN GOLDMAN, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

But I'm not one to hold a grudge.

So, I turned around from my spot looking out of my window, and turned my computer on, and clicked on the loudest videogame I owned. I had just logged on when Evan walked into my room. I turned up the volume.

"Archie."

PPEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW!

"ARCHIE!"

PPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW—

Suddenly the screen went black. I turned to see Evan standing with the cord to my computer in his hand.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I was playing that." I rolled over and snatched the cord from his hands, plugging it in, and watching my dinosaur slowly boot up.

"Oh, come on!"

"I was about to reach my high score."

"Archie!" A moment passed us in silence. I the thick quiet, the sound of my computer slowly coming back from its afterlife filled my room. "Look, we both said things on Friday that we regret."

"Nope," I said, "Just you."

"Yeah." He said. "I screwed up pretty badly. And I don't think I've ever been more sorry for anything in my entire life, because you really are my best, most loyal—

"Awesomest."

"Awesomest friend I've ever had. I was just hoping we could hug and make-up?"

I glared at him. "Evan Goldman, there is no way in HELL that I am going to…" He visibly deflated. "Hug you."

He looked up at me, raising his eyes from the floor.

"Wait, what?"

"I am not going to hug you. It's just weird!" He gave me a look.

"So… Do you forgive me?"

"Oh, sure. I'm just not going to hug you. Not now, not ever."

He laughed. "You got it, Buddy."

* * *

At school the next day, he proceeded to tell me his genius plan to make it right with everybody.

"I'll just get Brett to dump Lucy and get back with Kendra! Then everybody will be happy, and I'll be the hero!"

"This is probably your worst idea yet, and that's saying something." He wasn't listening. It was then that we saw some of Brett's cronie's walking by. He started toward them. "No, Evan, don't!"

"Hey, Malcolm, Eddie!"

I slammed my face into the line of lockers next to us. I heard the entire conversation.

"Alright, Let's do this." Evan said, heading to face Brett. "Wish me luck!"

"Break a leg! Maybe two! Then we can be twins…" He was already too far away to hear.

And about five minutes later…

Patrice stormed into the hallway.

"Archie, I got your text! What's… CQDBTIOE?"

"Come quick, danger beckons, time is our enemy! DUH!"

"What is it?"

"You have to help Evan. Now."

She crossed her arms on the name 'Evan'.

"Why?" She always was stubborn.

"BECAUSE BRETTIS GOING TO KILL HIM, THAT'S WHY!"

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Go! Run! Be my legs!" I gave her my best I'm-your-best-friend-please-do-this-one-thing-for-me-please look.

"And what will you be doing?" She asked skeptically.

I thought about five million lies I could have said, but this was Patrice, so I told the truth.

I counted on my fingers. "Hiding, weeping, cowering, the usual."

She sighed in a long-suffering way. "Forget it. Evan's on his own."

"So that's it? He's gonna get Slaughtered, and you really don't care?"

She took a step away from me. "Don't care."

"Great!"

Another step. "Not interested."

"Okay!"

She turned to face me. "You know I'm going, don't you?"

I smiled. "Yup."

"I hate you."

"Who doesn't?"

* * *

A/N: There you go! Got to admit, I hate the beginning of this, but the end is one of my favorite scenes in the whole show. So, I'm happy to do it. I think this story might just be finished tonight! Whaddaya think about that?


	6. Evan Goldman, This is Your Life

A/N: Yes, this chapter will be incredibly short. DEAL WITH IT!

The bell had just rung on the last class of the day, and Patrice and I were walking home together, when we passed a few of the popular girls, Molly, Cassie, and Charlotte.

* * *

"Kendra and Evan?"

"I know, right?"

"…At the Dairy Queen…"

"…Can you imagine…?"

"…Brett's gonna be so pissed!"

"THIRD BASE? NO!"

"YES!"

"They could get in so much trouble."

I turned to Patrice, looking for verification of my sanity. "Did you hear that?"

"Who would spread a rumor about Kendra and Evan?"

We both shared a look, before saying in unison, "Lucy!"

"We've got to warn him!" She said.

"He said he was going to the Dairy Queen."

"Come on!"

* * *

We got there just in time to hear Brett say, "Go back to your loser friends! They're the only ones coming to your stupid Jewish party anyways!"

"Wait." Evan seemed to be coming to a realization. "You- you were never gonna come, were you?"

Brett just laughed. "Duh! Like I'm gonna be stuck with that bunch of freaks!"

"As if!" Malcolm agreed. They all laughed. I wanted to kill them all by using the force.

And then Evan said something that surprised me. "You'd be lucky to be stuck with those freaks! You don't deserve to hang out with my friends."

He was defending us! But not just that, because after this, Brett would never be Evan's friend. He had made his decision.

"The geek and the cripple? Yeah, lucky me!" Evan's next words were almost drowned out by the cascading laughter from the other kids. Almost. Not quite.

"You're a Jerk, Brett."

Silence. There was complete and utter silence, and then there was a soft 'ooh'.

"What did you say?" Brett had turned red with anger.

"I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out!" He smiled.

"I don't WANT you to come to my party!" He pushed Brett on 'Want'. "I don't WANT you to be my friend!" Another push. "And I don't WANT you to talk to me ever again!"

Oh shit.

And then the icing went on the cake when Evan finished with…

"You Suck, Brett!"

And the fist hit the face… Literally.


	7. My Point, Exactly

A/N: Last Chapter, you guys! I hope you enjoyed this wild ride as much as I did!

* * *

Evan went down. Hard. Patrice rushed to his side. Brett and his cronies laughed. None of it had any importance compared to what happened next.

"Have fun with your new friends, Skank!" Brett spat. I had the sudden urge to punch _him_ in the face.

"Brett, no, wait!" But there were more Important things to do.

Kendra moved to the steps that were inside the DQ and sat down, hiding her face in her hands. I wlked over and sat down next to her, although not too close.

"Kendra?" No reply. I paused, thinking about what I should say next. "For what it's worth… I think you could do a whole lot better than Brett."

She looked up at me, and slowly a smile began to form on her face. "You're sweet, Arnie." She said it like it was a revelation, like she'd never considered me as more than a walking pair of crutches. I looked Into her eyes, and for once, she didn't just smile and look away. She held my gaze with equal intensity.

"It's… Archie." I said awkwardly.

"Oh, Archie, and thank you." She kissed me.

No, seriously.** SHE** **KISSED ME!** Well, it was on the cheek, but…

You know how in stories and movies they say that your first kiss changes the way you see things? How it brightens everything up, and makes your stomach do a belly-flop into a pool of love? Well, they never said THAT, but you get the point.

It didn't. MY world didn't get any brighter, colors didn't seem more colorful, and, the strangest part was, Kendra didn't become more beautiful in my eyes. Don't get me wrong, She is beautiful. But she'd always seemed so untouchable. Like the sun. But now, When I looked into her eyes, I didn't see a shooting star that was going to plow past me every day without blinking an eye, I saw a thirteen-year-old girl who was just as unsure, just as nervous, just as scared as I was. She wasn't perfect, she was just Kendra.

After the kiss, when she looked into my eyes, I saw more than just pupils there. I saw messages.

I'm sorry. That I didn't notice you, that they made fun of you, that your life is so screwed up, that I can't help, that we can't be friends, that we can't be together.

That's when, I think, I started to doubt that Kendra and I would ever go out.

And… I was okay with that.

"…Brett, no, WAIT!" And just like that, the moment was over. She was gone. And with her, my dreams.

"Wow…" I said, turning to Patrice and Evan, "She really is a Moron." I lied. Time to move on.

"Evan, I know you're in intense pain right now, but somebody needed to say that to Brett a LONG time ago." Patrice said.

"Glad I could help. Ow." He said, rubbing his face.

"You just totally sealed your fate here." I said.

"I know."

"Like Forever."

"I know." I smiled.

"Grab a crutch!" I offered him the end of one, which he use to pull himself up.

"You're stuck with us now." Patrice said.

Evan sighed dramatically, practically falling into a DQ stool. "You guys told me six weeks ago that those guys were jerks, and I didn't believe you, I should have trusted you."

"You know what?" Patrice took a seat next to Evan, "It just passed."

He looked at her quizzically. "What?"

"Me hating you."

"Oh… Thanks."

I struggled, but eventually partially succeeded in taking the empty seat next to Evan.

"You okay, Ev?" I asked.

"Yeah…" a pause, "I think I'm gonna just call my Bar Mitzvah off."

"Why?" Patrice asked.

"Because it'll just be Losers-r-us! No offence, but what's the point of that? What's the point of anything?"

I thought about what he said. I'd had thoughts along those lines before, and maybe…

"Well, if that's what it is… Then that's what it is."

He looked at me like I was insane. "What?"

"If that's what it is, then that's what it is." I stated.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Think about it like this, You worked really hard and now what have you got to show for it? A black eye. So what's the point?" he looked at me. "You should just mope. Go lock yourself in your room for the rest of your life and forget all your plans. Hey, I understand."

"Really Encouraging, Archie. Thanks."

"I'm getting to my point! Because that's not the way I choose to see it. I have my views about all these Bullies and jerks and… Unenlightened fools. I make my own rules. I do what I can, which is sometimes nothing at all. If I hit the wall, well… Maybe it's all just… part of the plan. You could do all that stuff, OR you could just say If that's what it is, then that's what it is. After all, Tomorrow will come, today will be gone! And so…" I stopped, and looked over at them, only to find they were looking at me intently.

"And so?" Patrice asked.

I took a deep breath.

"And so we put one foot in front of the other."

"One foot in front of the other." She repeated, like it was a bible verse.

"Yeah, and just keep walking on." I said.

Evan Looked up. "Yeah. You're right." He stood up to face us. "I mean, I made choices, and I took chances, and I didn't get everything I wanted, but I have you guys! Things aren't so bad!"

"My point, exactly."

Patrice stood and took his hand.

"Yeah," she said, "You DID take chances."

"Well," He replied, "I'm starting to think I should take one more…" He looked at me, as if asking for permission, and then he leaned forward and kissed her.

And it was on the lips!

I punched my fist in the air in silent celebration. I knew they would get together, I just knew it!

After the kiss, they both seemed to remember I was there at the same second, and stared at me. What were they expecting?

"If that's what it is, then that's what it is." I said, with a laugh. "At least until Disney can rewrite it."

* * *

The days to follow would be pretty great compared to the last few. Sure I felt like a third wheel sometimes, but whenever I saw my two friends happy together, it reminded me that although I hadn't ended up marrying Kendra, I had done something great for two lonely people.

And then came the day that Evan and I sat playing 'Portal' on my laptop, and he turned to me and said…

"Hey, you should write down what you thought about all that stuff that happened when we were thirteen."

"You really think so?"

"If it means we don't have to play any more dumb video games, then yes."

* * *

A/N: I can't believe that after all this time, it's finally over! Thanks so much for everybody who's been with me since the beginning! You guys rock! Hope to see some of you writing some stuff up here on the 13 fandom! Go on! Take a chance! What's the worst that could happen? See you guys later! I'll miss you! (:


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